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UUUGGGGHHH!!!

December 14th, 2007 at 05:02 am

Update: Despite my "reminding" dh about our finances and no more spending. He still puts a bid on golf clubs on eBay. I really don't understand him. He says that they're a good deal but there are always good deals on eBay. I know that he gets a "rush" from spending money but this is ridiculous. Plus, we live in Denver, you can't golf here for at least another 6 months.


I was hoping that by making my finances transparent that I would be able to control myself. I realized that I can, but I'm not the only one in the house that makes decisions.

My christmas spending came right in on budget. I'm making a lot of presents for friends so my expenses were pretty low. I also keep my grocery shopping on budget by using coupons and shopping at Walmart, etc. But....

DH has been begging for a PSP so he finally bought one. His justification was that we were going to have extra money from the HEL and we could afford it. I kept telling him that the HEL was to pay old credit card bills ($3,000) but instead will have to be used to pay current credit card bills (BofA $3,738), which means that we will have to pay the $3,000 with our tax refund, OT, etc. We have until 4/08 before we start getting interest on that balance.

I also didn't want to go on our vacation since we had to spend an extra $540 that I didn't budget. But he wants to go since he took the time off from work.

So we're way over budget this month. I know that we're going to do one more grocery shopping trip before we leave so we'll be over in food. We'll also be over in kids since I still need to pay clarinet rental and tae kwon do. There are also still utility bills that need to be paid.

I think I'll do a mid-month forecast of where we're going to end up. This will compare our original budget to revised budget (forecast) and actual expenses.

11 Responses to “UUUGGGGHHH!!!”

  1. disneysteve Says:

    Sorry, but using a home equity loan to buy a video game system is a huge red flag to me. Ask your husband if he would have gone into a bank to apply for a loan to buy that PSP. If he says no, point out that he did just that by using the HEL money to buy the PSP.

    My other issue is that you expect to pay $3,000 in CC bills with your tax refund. You guys need to adjust your witholding so that you aren't getting such a huge refund. You need that money in hand now, with each paycheck. What is the point of racking up CC debt and paying interest all year while you are simultaneously lending your hard-earned money to the government at 0% interest?

  2. Ima saver Says:

    Sorry, but disneysteve is right!!

  3. madhaus90 Says:


    My opinion is that you and your husband need to be on the same page - if he is begging for an item, he might feel that you are in control of the finances. If the two of you were on the same page and had a certain amount of money per month to spend just as you wish, it might not wreck havoc on your budget.

  4. frugalhousewife Says:

    My husband and I have budget meetings every pay period. It prevents me from feeling like I have to make all of the decisions. It helps him see exactly how much the bills are and what needs to be paid with each paycheck.

    I agree that both of you have to be on the same page for this to work. It takes time to work the kinks out of a budget. If your dh is going to be splurging on video game systems and vacations you cannot afford the two of you need to have a heart to heart about the budget.

  5. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    Don't forget expenses in Hawaii. Food? Lodging? Transportation? Entertainment?

  6. clubneary Says:

    Good luck to you. I know how hard it is to keep a family on a budget. I hate to be the one always saying no to going out to dinner or buying something extra at the store. I am hoping the fact that my DH's car is about to totally die will reign in his spending. I find myself constantly saying "it's not in the budget" and NOT getting a lot of support. Frustrating!

  7. lkk0718 Says:

    Thanks for the comments. I talk to DH about the budget at least twice a month. He goes uh-uh and that's about it. I also hate to be the one to say "no" all the time since it's not in our budget. I'm always saying that if it's not a need then we don't get it.

    Vacation expenses shouldn't be too bad but I had budgeted a $1,000 for spending money for two weeks. Now we've only got about $500 of it left. We're staying with my mom or my in-laws the whole time and we also get to use their cars. We're so lucky, else we wouldn't be able to afford to go on these vacations. Our only expenses will be food, gas, and souvenirs.

    I need to remind him, again, that we're a one-income family. When I quit work, we lost about 2/3 of our net income and he still doesn't realize that. I've been a SAHM for 4 years now. Luckily, we've been able to pay off our debts up until the last few months. Now, they are starting to catch up with us.

  8. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    I hope you can do some cooking at your relatives' to keep the expenses down over that two weeks, as now you are hoping $500 to cover not only food but gas and souvenirs. At home you've spent $519 on food alone so far this month. This trip seems like it will take your family further into debt. What a bummer that you couldn't get free flights this time of year. It would have helped, eh?

    When you say you had budgeted this vacation, does that mean you have saved for it and have the cash somewhere? Does it mean that the $1000 is what you figured you'd be able to handle paying down later after the vacation?

    Can souvenirs be something free? Something to remind you and/or the kids of family and "home." We have pinecones from Grandpa's back yard, for example. Tiny bottles of water from various lakes, rives, oceans we've visited. And oh my gosh, interesting rocks from everywhere. No way could we get back from Hawaii with out some beach sand in ocean water and a lava rock!

  9. lkk0718 Says:

    I've got money saved up for this trip. I'm going to make a point of us eating at "home" on our trip. Especially if our "moms" do all the cooking. There's nothing like mom's cooking.

  10. disneysteve Says:

    "I've got money saved up for this trip."

    I see people say something like this a lot and it just doesn't sit well with me. You say you've saved up money for the trip, but your sidebar shows $7,200 in credit card debt plus a $9,800 HEL (what was that money used for BTW?). To me, that means the money you've "saved" for the trip was saved at the expense of not paying down your debts with that money. That isn't really savings. Yes, you may have the cash in hand, but as a result, you've paid down less of your debts and will pay more interest as a result.

    I don't mean to be harsh, but it just seems like you are trying to rationalize the cost of the trip. It sounds like you are continuing to live beyond your means and it needs to stop somewhere or else those debt figures will just continue to climb. And it sounds like your husband just isn't getting the seriousness of the problem if he is out bidding on ebay and buying luxury items at the same time you are trying to dig yourselves out of debt. Those two things just can't be happening at the same time if you are going to be successful.

  11. Broken Arrow Says:

    Uh, there are several red flags here, and sadly from both sides....

    Now, I'm not here to dog-pile, because, well, many of these things have already been pointed to you.

    Still, what worries me the most is that you and your husband are clearly not on the same page. You guys have "budget meetings", but I very much doubt that he's actually on board with it.

    Now, I say that with the greatest of sympathy because I've had that problem before, and I honestly don't how you can get your spouse on board with you....

    Do you guys have an equal allowance set aside for each of you? If not, it's one avenue worth considering, so long as he can sincerely agree to it and not touch any other funds, no matter what it is.

    Anyway, the very best of luck on this very difficult challenge in your life.

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